So let me start out in saying, I use to hate getting compliments.
I really did...
Whenever someone would give me one in the past, I would feel so uncomfortable and awkward.
It was as though there was a spotlight on me that was so bright that I feared someone would see what my truth thoughts of myself were.
In most cases, I didn't usually think to highly of myself.
I would find ways to try to hurry up and think of something to say to take that spotlight off me and project it back onto the other person in someway.
Usually I'd accomplished this by giving them a compliment back or completely downplaying everything they just praised me for as quickly as possible.
I know right?
Who does that?
Why was it so hard for me to just smile, say thank you and receive the other person's kind words?
This was especially the case when it came to my looks. God forbid someone called me pretty or attractive. I would feel so unworthy of the compliment.
This was because deep down I truly wasn't able to see what they saw within me. I couldn't make the connection that I was this amazing person worthy of being complimented and loved just for being me.
They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But what good purpose does it serve for others to be able to point out our great qualities and we can't believe, see or embrace them for ourselves.
As women, we can be pretty hard on ourselves.
We look in the mirror, point out our 50 million flaws, become our own worst critics and fail to see the progression or beauty within ourselves.
It is no wonder we can't lend support or give another woman a compliment nowadays... It is because we don't take the time to truly compliment or believe in ourselves on a daily basis.
Not too mention, we spend more time feeding our insecurities then feeding our positive qualities and working progresses.
And why is that?
For starters, many of us didn't come from backgrounds where this was a normal practice for our everyday thought processes.
As I look back at my many role models growing up, I can see how I got a lot of mixed messages.
I had some women that projected such confidence, poise and wisdom that seemed so effortless and natural. Yet, I also had a majority of women that were so miserable within their own lives, that feeding positivity into my life would prove to be a nonexistent priority.
So in the midst of attempting to find my own voice I got lost in translation. I didn't know how to embrace joy, love, beauty or self-acceptance so I avoided it altogether. I began to merely coexist and blend in versus standout and embrace all my truths!
But some where along the way, just merely existing in this world wasn't good enough.
Failing to see the beauty within myself didn't settle so well in my spirit anymore.
I grew tired of feeling unworthy.
I grew tired of not accepting myself.
And most importantly, I simply grew tired of being sick and tired!
So, it began to hit me, that I had a choice in my life of how I wanted to see myself.
I could either continue to live in this spirit of poor self image or I could begin to learn how to appreciate and point out my great qualities that others saw in me.
It was a realization that I could change my entire world with just the way I saw and thought about myself.
Don't get me wrong, I truly wish the women in our lives whether they are relatives, influential teachers or just members of our communities would take the time to tell us it's ok to embrace and celebrate ourselves.
I wish there was a continual belief system that causes we as women to regularly instill in each other to take sometime and just admired the women are still developing to be!
That it is important for us to recognize and love these amazing qualities within ourselves because they will fortify us to even greater heights within our lives.
So instead of wishing and hoping for this day to finally come, how about we create it for ourselves NOW!
When we talk about having the ability to love or even liking others, we must first learn the importance of doing so with ourselves. This includes being nice to ourselves, being proud of ourselves, encouraging ourselves, motivating ourselves and yes even complimenting ourselves.
These affirmations, if truly bought into, can transform and enrich the relationships we hold with ourselves in so many facets.
Fortunately for me, I am now able to look at myself and see the wonderful woman I am still transforming into becoming.
Can I say, it's a fabulous mental state to be in 😉!
And it's not to say I'm not realistic in pointing out and working on my flaws. I just don't allow myself to be defined or made to feel less than because of them anymore.
So for now on, I challenge you to do the same...
Greet yourself every morning knowing that you are more than worthy of living your best life!
Say to yourself, "Hey Pretty Girl”!!!
Better yet, "Hey Mz. Lady" ☺️!!!
The world is your canvas and you are the artist. Paint your life into the beautiful masterpiece that it is... You are more than worth it!
Until next time as always ladies, stay beautiful, blessed and divinely favored!