So ultimately, when I decided to get into partnership with God for real and wholeheartedly, I recognized that I was truly making the decision to walk into the unknown. I had to put my complete and utter trust in Him, solely relying on Him to guide me in the right direction, give me peace that surpasses all understanding and also to help others at all times even when it felt like I couldn't help myself. This was the true definition of a faith walk for sure.
But in this season, I got to see just how strong, resilient and independent I truly was. For most of the year, I was strictly in tunnel vision mode. If it didn't have anything to do with the conference or work 9 times out of 10 I was disconnected from the rest of the world. This included friends, family, social media, in my Shirley Caesar voice, You Name It!!!! My focused was taken to a whole new dimension and for the first time, in what felt like a long time, I was right in alignment with where God wanted me and Hey Mz. Lady to be.
It was during this time, God was opening me to see just how capable I truly was. Because of the lack of resources at the time, I had to become very creative with funds and primarily carry Hey Mz. Lady on my own back with very limited help from others. And while some say you should always have a team behind you, for me this year that clearly wasn't an option.
I was the CEO, the creative director, the content generator, the production coordinator, the go to person, the brand manager, THE EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF!!!! Crazy part is, for someone that usually likes running things on her own, this was the first time I've ever had to do so with Hey Mz. Lady all by myself. I felt like I was being a mother to this baby (Hey Mz. Lady). And despite the mess ups in my personal life, I wasn’t going to allow them to affect “my child’s” promising future!
Since her creation, I always had someone or a group of people to bounce ideas off of or at least to encourage me to keep going. Let’s just say a village of some sorts. But no… Not so much this time. I had me, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit in that order! Eventually, my amazing event planner came along to take over a lot of the daunting details of putting a major event like this together - that I truly despise doing- but for the most part it was just me.
And looking back on it, I still would not have it any other way. You see this is where the true glow up came into play. I take great pleasure in saying that when you decide you're going to win simply because God said you could and you would, there's nothing like being proud and looking at yourself in amazement of what your hard work could accomplish through the absolute grace & mercy of God!
But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.
It was during this time where I didn't know you could have so much peace in the midst of one turbulent storm. That even though you may look around and see other people begin to take off in their journeys in the ways you wish you were able to, you find solace and contentment knowing you were at the right place at the right time in your life. God was building my character. He was building my stamina. He was building back up confidence in me again! And for this, I find myself forever grateful...