Let me be very clear when I say I talk to God all the time! I talk to Him in the car. I talk to Him around my house. I talk to Him pretty much ALL DAY, EVERYDAY! From a very young age, I knew the importance of prayer and how it can change things expeditiously when approached with a sincere heart.
Well you could image during times like these, I was praying like a mad woman around the clock. But in this season of my life, my prayers started sounding more like complaints and frustration versus prayers of adoration, change or gratefulness. I would sit and pretty much cry, whine and plead my case about all my problems to my Heavenly Father that already knew my circumstances. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe sometimes talking to God should be like a general conversation that you would have with a loved one or whatever style is comfortable to you. But at some point, God gave me revelation in saying "Are you asking for my help and guidance or are you going to continue to have emotional temper tantrums?” Meaning, how long are you going to just vent and complain versus live a lifestyle of faith?It was then when I realized that I needed to change the ways I entered my prayer life. More importantly, I needed to relearn how to express myself clearly and effectively, but also be willing to shut up and actually listen to what God was trying to tell me.
Ugh, I'm not going to lie sometimes that was a difficult process. Truth be told, within this year it's been a little hard to sit still and hear from God simply because I felt like I had so much to say and also sometimes it felt like God wasn't talking back to me at all! Here I was crying my eyes out asking God to hear me out, give me signs and wonders and to change my circumstances, but sometimes it was like hearing crickets in the background.
At the end of the day, I always knew God was with me the entire time, but maybe in hinds sight God was waiting for me to give Him His due praise, honor and glory? Maybe He was waiting to see when I was going to speak life over my circumstances versus come to Him with a pity party mentality that did not serve either one of us any purpose? Maybe He was testing me to see even if I didn't hear one word from Him would I still have faith that all things were possible through Him and Him alone? Maybe He was building my spiritual toughness and was stretching me to new depths within Him?
Matthew 6:6-8 (From The Message Bible)
“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace. “The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply.
Looking back, it was clearly all of those things stated above and then some. God was not playing with me at all this year. Even still, with 2016 rapidly coming to a close He's still requiring me to stretch my faith a little further and still believe in the possibilities of what could take place well before 2017 gets here...